The Art of Sneaking Food into the Movie Theater

If you must go to a movie theater, you will pay premium price for a movie ticket, but you can go cheap on food by following my guidelines in this article to save yourself some money. Who knows, maybe you’re already sneaking in stuff, but if not, I’ll guide you on your quest not to get ripped off by high priced movie theaters. Not only is this article about my techniques, but its also about the certain kinds of food you should sneak in, and what to avoid, so let’s get started.
No woman should go to any movie theater without her huge tote bag hanging on her shoulders in order to make sure she can carry the maximum amount of items in it without having to buy a single thing from the concession stand. Now ladies, if you’re afraid that some nosy theater manager or movie usher will demand to look in your purse, don’t worry, just throw some dirty underwear or socks on top, so if they peak in your bag, that’s the first thing they’ll see and immediately get embarrassed, and look no further. I’ve never had to open my purse for anyone, but you never know. Just make sure that you don’t forget to take those items out of your bag when you get home, you don’t want to be walking around and someone asks you for a pen, and you pull out a nasty pair of panties instead.
Now, guys, unless you have a huge trench coat that you can immediately hide a burger in, forget about it. You will just have to pay full price for everything, including the movie ticket. Hey, it’s better this way. Unless you’re with your buddies, do you really want your date to think you’re a cheapo when you ask her,”Hey baby, can you please stash my burrito from taco bell in that purse of yours?”
Let’s now talk about some goodies to bring in. Get yourself some Sourpatch Kids, Snickers, and Reese’s candy from any drug or food store. Just remember, all of these items are under a $1 a piece, so you should be able to stock up just nicely, and you’ll blend in well with the other people in the theater. Think about it, everyone will be eating the same thing, but you’ll be able to pat yourself on the back for not spending almost $5 for a box of Milk Duds. Next, visit your local McDonald’s, and if you live in the States, there should be one on every corner. Go directly to the dollar menu, and stock up on burgers, fries, but don’t get a drink, I’ll talk about that later on. If you like hot dogs, then go to your nearest hot dog stand and get the biggest dog you can find for no more than $2. I would suggest tacos, but with all that crunching going on, you will look and sound conspicuous in the theater, and someone might rat you out.
Chips, you can get anywhere, but if you must have movie theater popcorn for the cheapest price, this is what you should do. Get yourself some microwave popcorn, pop it, melt some butter, put in on top, and you’re set. Throw in some gummy worms, or orange slices, shake it up, put in a brown bag, and you’re good to go. Now for drinks, any kind goes, however, stick to the 16 fl oz plastic bottles. Cans make too much noise when opened, and let’s say that you drink some and have half of a can left, then suddenly in comes a nosy usher down your isle, and you have to hide your drink, what are you going to do? Now if you have the plastic bottle and its only half full, put the top back on it so that you can immediately shove it into your purse or a coat if you need to.
Don’t forget to try this technique at the dollar show to save even more money. I used to do this all the time at the Dollar Theater near my home. I wonder if that’s why they went out of business?

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